You’re Pregnant… And You’re Having a Girl!

“I had a dream about you last night and you was pregnant. You were living with some girl who didn’t like you because you told her, her boyfriend was cheating on her. And you were having a little girl!”

My pregnant work colleague – the one that has left, had the baby, and is due back from maternity leave next month, messaged me this morning. Apparently she had this really realistic dream and she saw all of the above happen. This is weird. It’s weird for me because I had a dream I was pregnant recently and it freaked me out. I also had the pregnancy scare last month. And to be honest, I’m wondering if my biological clock is doing it’s thing. I’ve been talking about this for a while now. I’m not a million percent against the idea like I once was. Maybe the work colleague had a point when she said she knew Jock was going to be the one to change my mind about having kids.

I don’t want a girl, for a start. I want a boy. Jock already has a girl. Look how that’s going right now. It’s still as shitty as it was, by the way. I think him and the Ex have managed to keep things on a civil keel for the sake of the kid, but they still aren’t really talking to each other. Well, that’s what I’m aware is happening…

Anyway, back to the topic. I was living with a girl who was pissed at me because I told her, her boyfriend was cheating. That could be the Lesser-Spotted Lethario, couldn’t it? Would I really tell his girlfriend that he was cheating on her though? And why would she be living here?

I hate it when stuff like this happens because it gets me thinking, and me thinking is never a good thing. I wonder if may be she’s seeing a little glimmer into my fortune. She’s a bit weird like that, and she totally believes in fate and destiny and psychics. I prefer to sit on the fence, although I would love to go for a palm reading / tarot reading / etc.

I have been toying with the idea that Jock could be “The One” for a while now. He’s seemingly perfect in so many ways, and I’m alway at my happiest when I’m with him, even if I am pissed at him. Sorry for the slush again, but I genuinely think he could be. However, I thought this about Big Love didn’t I, and look how that ended up?

Do you have kids? Do you really “know” that the guy you have kids with is the right person to have kids with? It just seems like a really big decision to make, and one I’m not sure I like to be in charge of. What happens if I decide Jock is the guy to have kids with, and we don’t work out? I mean technically, the chances of us ending up together in the long run… are they really that high? He’s 8 years older than me, slightly tubby, grey and a knob. Lol, a beautiful knob though. I’m 8 years younger than him, slim, blonde and busty. As much as I love him and he’s the coolest guy I’ve ever met, are we really a match made in heaven?

If we don’t make it, and I do decide to have kids with him, I’m gonna be a single mama, aren’t I? That’s everything I’ve always said I didn’t want to be. How comes Jock is almost changing my mind? How is this happening?

I guess I’m just in that little weird place again. Almost 28 years old and not sure whether or not she wants to have kids still… You’d have thought I would have figured this shit out by now, wouldn’t you?